They Might Be Giants ... continued

So far, so good for Jack the Giant Slayer. Plenty of gruesome deaths to those foolish gargantuan oafs, thanks to our Jack. But, come on, where's the princess? Every fairy tale hero seeks a princess, surely?

Well, here goes.

Jack continued his travels, until one day he met by chance another man, tattered and torn, hungry and afraid. The man explained that he was the king of England's son, that he had set out on a quest to rescue a princess who had been imprisoned in a castle in Wales by a demon.

His quest had been beset by disaster, thieves had fallen upon his party, robbing everything, horses, clothes, weapons and food and killing all apart from him. For he had left the group sleeping to seek a drink of water, and had returned to find all fallen.

Jack clapped him on the shoulder and said, "We will continue together!"

The prince thanked him but reminded him they had naught to eat and nowhere to stay, so what were they to do?

"I am on my way to kill a three-headed giant who lives in a castle near here. That's where we'll sup, and that's where we'll lay our heads."

He told the prince to hide in the forest while he dealt with the giant, and the prince obeyed, convinced he'd seen the last of Jack.

Jack strode boldly up to the castle gate and knocked upon it. Three great ugly heads peered angrily over the gate and each head demanded, "Who knocks?"

"Nobody but your poor cousin Jack," answered Jack and hung his head sadly.

The three faces all scowled and peered more closely at Jack. "We don't know of any cousin," said the heads. "What brings you here? And why the long face?"

Jack shook his head and said, "I bring terrible news dear cousin. The king of England's son is marching on his way here with an army of sixty thousand men, and has sworn to kill you."

The six eyes immediately began to leak great salty tears of fear. "Oh, but what shall I do? I can deal with three hundred - a hundred to a mouth - but no more! Oh, dear cousin I am done for!"

"Can you not hide?" asked Jack, and watched the giant slowly turn the idea over before he answered: "Yes, Jack, I can hide! I can - I have a vault in my cellar. You, cousin, lock me within and when he arrives offer the king of England's son and his army a great feast and tell them I have gone to visit my uncle up in Scotland!"

So Jack locked the giant in the vault and went to fetch the prince. The ate until they could eat no more, then slept soundly upon feather beds until the sun rose.

In the morning Jack found the giant's treasure chest and gave the prince as much gold and jewels as he could carry. then he found the finest horse in the stables and sent the prince on his way before unlocking the vault and releasing the giant.

Well, the giant had been so afraid he had hardly slept at all and all three heads twitched with nerves.
"Ah, Jack!" he cried. "They spared you!"

"Aye, all is well," said Jack. "They ate your food, took some treasure and a horse and are now marching on up to Scotland! But you have plenty of horses and treasure still, so be glad."

The giant was glad, and asked Jack what reward he would like for saving him.

Jack shrugged, then said, "Well, I saw a few old things in your bed chamber that I'd quite like. A tatty old cap and cloak, a rusty sword and some moth-eaten slippers."

The giant sighed."Dear Jack," he said,"those are my greatest treasures. The cap will give you all knowledge, the cloak makes whoever wears it invisible, the sword is enchanted and whatever you strike with it will be sliced into pieces. And those old slippers are also magic, they will take you in one bound where ever you wish to go. But when all is said and done, you saved my life, and so now they are yours."

Jack took his gifts and left. (If you wish for some more gore, then Jack slipped on the cloak and hacked off the three heads of the giant. If you wish for justice, then Jack left the giant as he was.)

With the slippers on his feet, in a single bound Jack caught up with the prince who was getting near to the castle where the princess was confined.

"I'll go ahead and announce your arrival," said Jack, and in two steps he was at the castle. He made his way through the great gates expecting to find the princess locked away or bewitched into a sleep, but to his surprise he found the princess happily sitting upon the throne as though the castle belonged to her. In fact the enchantment of the demon was to have turned her kind heart cruel.

When she heard of the prince's arrival she immediately ordered a banquet, and spent that evening making eyes at him, telling him that he was her hero and her true love. But then just as she was taking her leave she wiped her lips upon a handkerchief and tucked it her bosom. Then she looked into the prince's eyes and said, "Show me that handkerchief in the morning, or you will be hanged from the battlements!" The prince laughed and answered, "I shall know where to find it!" But such a threat, even in jest, made him uncomfortable.

But Jack slipped on his cap of knowledge and knew exactly what the princess planned to do. Later that night she conjured up the demon and gave him the handkerchief which he carried away to his lair deep within the earth. Jack donned his cloak of invisibility and his slippers of swiftness and followed the demon. The demon placed the handkerchief upon a his table and retired to bed, whereupon Jack snatched it up and took it to the prince.

The next morning the prince gave the handkerchief back to the princess and she giggled and flirted as though that were her plan, but that evening after dinner before she went to bed she kissed the prince upon the lips, then said: "Tomorrow you must show me the lips that I last kissed, or I will order for your head to be cut off!"

"I will show you my own lips," he answered with a smile. The prince was glad of the kiss, but much troubled by her words.

That night, once more, the princess conjured the demon. She scolded him for his carelessness about the handkerchief but gloated over how they would kill the prince in the morrow and then placed a kiss upon the demon's lips.

Of course, Jack had seen all this, and followed the demon as he plunged into the darkness of his lair. Jack drew the enchanted sword and sliced off the demon's head and took it back to the prince.

The next morning when the prince presented the head to the princess she gave shriek and fell to the ground in a swoon. When she woke her enchantment was broken and remembered naught of what had happened. And so it was the prince who took the princess back to the palace to marry her, and Jack was rewarded with a knighthood, but it he preferred not to tarry at court ... there were more giants that needed his attention ...