Writing my top ten pirates for Twitter, was tougher than I thought. Condensing heroic action, dastardly deeds, nuances of character and individuality into 140 characters, seemed nigh impossible (that’s a novel-writer for you).
I’m pleased with the result - I hope it brings lesser known rogues a little more limelight. But, I feel like I’m selling them short, so what better way to compensate than with a complementary blog post?
It’s not a great deal longer. But fills them out a bit more. If that’s not enough, here’s some further reading.
I could not have enjoyed or fulfilled this task without the help of Benerson Little’s ‘How History’s Greatest Pirates Pillaged, Plundered, and Got Away With It’ (62 characters plus spaces just in that title!). If you have any interest in pirates, I highly recommend it as a great read. AND it’s got pictures! I’m a sucker for grown-up books with pictures.
Also, I still can’t resist dipping into Diana and Michael Preston’s book, ‘A Pirate of Exquisite Mind’ which details the incredible life of William Dampier. Richard Sanders’ chronicle of Bartholomew Roberts, ‘If a Pirate I must Be…’ totally sold me on his tactical excellence, discipline and focus. Both these books make excellent reading for anyone curious to dig deeper into pirate history.
1/10 Bartholomew Roberts. Top tactician, teetotal and probably gay. Not a stereotypical cutthroat. He gets top slot for achieving the highest lifetime haul with the lowest bodycount. There is a slave ship atrocity attributed to his crew, but there’s no evidence he gave direct orders for this to take place, and is thought to be out of character. Often, he rubbed his crew up the wrong way by being so strict. Died rather ignominiously when his crew got too drunk to fight off an attack. Must be pretty hot stuff - he's now a character in Assassin's Creed!
2/10 Grace O’Malley. Ann Bonny and Mary Read get the girl-pirate press but this awesome 16th C Celtic tiger headed a pirating dynasty. There are tales of her giving birth one moment then bounding back on deck to lead her crew the next. Utterly loyal to her clan and crew, so fearsome, her reputation spread as far as Portugal, she was powerful and illustrious to earn an audience with Queen Elizabeth I in 1593. Sorry, there's no picture. Most of the ones I found were very focussed on her cleavage.
3/10 Henry Morgan. Thanks to the rum, arguably the most famous pirate in history. Utterly bloodthirsty and a masterly military leader, he led campaign after campaign laying siege to the Spanish Main. Conniving for political gain he gained influence first with Governor Modyford of Jamaica. Then, at Modyford’s dismissal and his own arrest, he so gained favour in London by advising Charles II, that instead of standing trial he was knighted and sent back to Jamaica as Lieutenant Governor!
4/10 Cheng I Sao. Power hungry and predatory, she is the inspiration for my own pirate queen, Kagerou. Her 1000 vessel fleet and 40,000 pirates were ‘stinging wasps of the ocean’.Proving her mettle by working her way up from prostitute to pirate’s wife, she came into her element at the death of her husband, impressing utter control over the fleet and exercising a nautical organised crime racket, complete with protection passes in order to pass safely through ‘her’ waters. Canny to the last, she knew when to quit and negotiated a comfortable retirement with the Chinese government.
5/10 Blackbeard (Edward Teach)’s flamboyant fearsome appearance earns him almost mythic status along with his buried treasure and heroic demise fighting to the death against pirate-hunter, Captain Maynard. That ‘extravagant’ beard was entwined with ribbons and stuck beneath his hat lighted slow-matches flickered at each side of his face. A big drinker and indiscriminately violent, niceties of politics never distracted him from his prey.
6/10 Diego the Mulatto. His origins obscured in myth, this slave’s son’s skills in sailing and schmoozing were legendary. His race stood as an obstacle against him achieving many a respectable office, so life at sea gave him the chance to excel. Within a few years he found himself commanding two ships of Dutch privateers. A true gentleman of fortune he spared the life of a Mexican Governor’s wife (stories abound that they became lovers) and her retinue and gained a reputation of being mean but merciful.
7/10 Jean Lafitte, seems the consummate pirate of the Caribbean. A smooth talking New Orleans gentleman on one hand, a villainous slave trafficker on the other. Wars breaking out against England and Spain gave him ships for the taking but soon pushed his luck too far and New Orleans Governor, Claiborne put a $500 price on his head. Yet, he pledged his forces to aid America’s battle against the English and his heroism won pardons for his crimes. He went on to become a spy for the Spanish and died after a ferocious battle with two heavily armed pirate-hunters.
8/10 William Dampier: Another unlikely candidate, incidental pirate, Dampier was more likely to be scribbling down his notes on aboriginal people, animal migration patterns and tides than wielding a cutlass. ’Wilfully deluded’ as to the real goings on of his crew he still deserves more credit as the unsung nautical and naturalist hero of his age. Darwin referred to Dampier’s notes on species in the Galapagos.
9/10 Captain Kidd: the accidental pirate. I feel for this man, driven to manslaughter by means of a bucket and royally shafted by his powerful sponsors who used him as a convenient scapegoat. As William Kidd wrote bitterly of his betrayal, he was ‘the tool of ambition and avarice’. And the patsy for plunder. The single piece of evidence that will save him, a French pass, vanishes before his trial.
10/10 John Gow. All pose, no plunder. Beloved by Orcadians, folktales of his life and loves abound. Yet, disappointingly, Gow’s haul amounted to fish and various comestibles and he could easily have set up Gow’s Grocery. Instead he decided to head home to Orkney and pillage properties along the coastline where he managed to load up on shoe buckles and .… spoons. He was clearly in over his head. He made a bumbling attempt to negotiate with a former school friend, was tricked into being captured and arrested. Refusing to enter a plea he was then tortured till he did so. Some of his personal belongings can be viewed at Stromness Museum. Including a spoon, or two.
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